simon cowellI've missed Simon Cowell ever since he left American Idol, haven't you? Paula Abdul ... not so much, but Simon, with his tight black tees and boxy haircut, yes. His new show X Factor premieres September 21 on Fox and I can't wait to hear his first snarky comment as he makes his triumphant return to TV singing competitions. As Idol fans, I think we could all use a good dose of blunt, rude criticisms after the AI judges this year just praised everyone and their mother, twice. Simon's about to bring the nasty back and it's going to be fantastic.

The TV producer and judge recently spoke to Billboard Magazine about what to look forward to this season, andtalked about what five songs he never, ever, ever, ever wants to hear auditioned ever again.

In random order:

  1. R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly"
  2. Etta James' "At Last"
  3. The Righteous Brothers' "Unchained Melody"
  4. Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours"
  5. John Legend's "Ordinary People"

Really glad that my go-to audition song, "I Saw the Sign," by Ace of Base, isn't on that list. It's funny because I used to think that Simon's favorite song was "Unchained Melody" and he didn't like to hear it butchered, but he explains that that was some sort of nasty rumor. Whoever said he loved that song "must have been joking," he explained.

Sort of makes my Simon Cowell and Righteous Brothers collage a moot point now, but whatever.

I'll be watching X Factor for Simon. For some reason I don't really like the idea of having people of any age audition -- it starts getting a little sad and desperate -- but if Simon's there, I'm there. Oh, and I guess Paula, too. I like that she makes me feel like the sober person in the room.

Will you watch X Factor?